


Lacunae

by Gala_and_Elle, theletterelle



Series: Slantverse [53]
Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Needles, Non-Consensual Piercing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-02
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-22 03:54:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/908596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gala_and_Elle/pseuds/Gala_and_Elle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/theletterelle/pseuds/theletterelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard's sixteenth birthday should be his best ever. It's not. (Flashback)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lacunae

**Author's Note:**

> Needleplay square for kink bingo. It's Gerard and needles, y'all. Not happy.

Gerard almost turns around to go back home. The eyeliner, lip gloss, and his tightest-fitting black clothes made him look like sex on legs, Pete said, but Gerard didn’t feel like it. Frank falling over himself laughing when Pete said that didn’t help. Gerard almost backed out then, but Ray smoothed it over and persuaded him. It’s his sixteenth birthday. Going to a club is practically required.

“You want me to find you someone?” Ray asks when they’ve presented their IDs to get in. Gerard doesn’t answer. He’s looking around at the club, the promised land he’s waited to get to for four years now. Music thumps over the sound system, and the lights are low, except for recessed bulbs that make little pools of light over the stations. There’s a girl chained to a wall being flogged, a set of three subs on hands and knees in the middle of the room, spectators seated on floor cushions. His mouth goes dry. There’s so much here. So _much._ He doesn’t know where to begin.

“Seriously,” Ray says, “I’ll go look for someone. Here, get a drink and I’ll see who I can find, okay?”

“No, it’s cool,” says Gerard, “I can find my own partner. Just let me look around.”

Ray looks hesitant, and Gerard rolls his eyes. “Okay, Dad, fine,” he says. “Go ahead.” He knows Ray won’t rest until everything’s taken care of to his satisfaction. Ray Toro, Responsible Adult. Gerard wants to giggle. Ray gives him a brief smile, then starts scanning the crowd. “Oh hey, dude, there’s Matt. I gotta go talk to him. Be right back, okay?”

“Yeah,” says Gerard, “yeah, sure, go. I’m gonna go get a drink.” The bar is at the back, five deep; they only serve nonalcoholic drinks, which makes sense even if Gerard can’t help wishing for a quick slug of vodka to take the edge off his nervousness. He waits his turn and gets a Coke instead, sipping it while covertly looking around the room for someone who might want to play.

“You dick,” says someone down the bar, “you complete _dick_ , this is latex, asshole!” There’s a surge in the crowd at the bar that takes Gerard by surprise, jolting him and dousing him with his own Coke. Fuck. Motherfucking fuck.

He goes to the bathroom to wash up before he dries all sticky, and inspects his face in the mirror sadly. He doesn’t know how it happened, but his eyeliner’s smeared all under his eyes, despite Pete’s promise that it was waterproof. His lip gloss is long gone. “Maybe I should go home,” he says out loud. He can’t find anyone, Ray left him, and it’s his birthday. He kind of feels like going back into his basement and not coming out for a few days.

“Aw, honey. Don’t do that.”

Gerard’s eyes widen at the vision that steps out from a stall behind him. Tall and thin, with limbs at once awkward and elegant, the-- man’s? woman’s?-- person’s deep red lipstick catches the light like glass. The teeth are white when they smile at Gerard. “Your first time here?”

Gerard nods at the reflection.

“Don’t be scared,” the person says. Gerard can’t tell if they’re sixteen or twenty-six. “You’re adorable. Let me see you.” The person turns Gerard around, licks a thumb, then draws it underneath each of Gerard’s eyes. “All fixed.”

Gerard stares into the eyes. They shift hypnotically, blue to green to blue, rimmed with thickly mascaraed lashes. The lips part. “Do you want to get something to drink?”

Gerard nods slowly. The lips smile, and the person takes his hand to lead him out. He doesn’t think to look for Ray. His entire everything is focused on the beautiful creature leading him, ordering him a Diet Coke-- he doesn’t like Diet, but he’d drink sewer water if this vision asked him to-- and settling back with an amused smile to watch Gerard take too big a gulp and splutter at the fizz going up his sinuses. Gerard coughs and gives an apologetic smile.

“I bet,” says the person, “you’d like to play, wouldn’t you?”

Gerard coughs. “Yes?” he says in a raspy voice.

“So adorable.” The person brushes back a lock of black hair. “What do you like?”

Gerard can’t _think._ “Whatever. Whatever you want.”

The red, red lips twitch upward. “Let’s go back here. It’s quieter.”

Gerard follows without a second thought. They weave past the stage, past the darkened nooks where teenagers intertwine in every possible combination, back to an alcove that’s dim at the edges, lit by an overhead bulb and furnished with a padded table and stool.

“Let’s get your clothes off,” murmurs the beautiful person. Gerard can’t not obey that voice. He slides his shirt off over his head, a little nervous at revealing the softness of his torso, but the beautiful person just slides fingers down his back that make Gerard shiver. He peels off his jeans, steps out of his shoes, and he’s naked in front of the glorious stranger who strokes his chest and whispers to him to get on the table.

The leather straps that go around Gerard’s wrists and ankles are familiar in a situation that’s anything but. He moves gently in them, comforted by their touch. When the person appears in his view, he smiles. The person smiles back and opens a small case, then pinches up a fold of skin on Gerard’s chest.

Gerard doesn’t realize what’s going to happen until it’s happening. The needle stings as it comes back up from underneath his skin-- he chokes-- the beautiful person holds up another needle and takes another pinch--

Gerard can’t move. He can’t breathe. He sees the light shining off the red lips, glinting off the needle, and he’s so terrified he can’t make a sound. The needle goes in, comes out, and it’s not the pain so much as that it’s a _needle_ , pointy and sharp and _inside him_ , oh God, fucking _inside his skin_ , and he can’t move, never mind the bindings, he can’t move when there are needles coming at him, needles _inside him_...

He makes a high, thin whine at the third. The fourth starts tears trickling from his eyes. “Delicious,” purrs the person, leaning down to lick delicately at his face. Gerard should safeword. Why isn’t it he safewording? He can’t remember how to talk. He tries, opening his mouth and moving his tongue.

“Are you trying to talk to me?” says the voice, amused.

Gerard whimpers. He nods.

“Are you going to tell me what a good boy you are?”

That’s so far from what Gerard would say that he can’t even make it work in his head. He blinks instead. Another needle goes into his chest, and he closes his eyes. “Nnnnn,” he manages.

“It’s okay. Just a few more to go.”

“No.” It comes out, finally comes out.

“Just hold still.”

“No. Please,” he adds a second later.

“You can do it for me.” The voice has all the assurance Gerard’s doesn’t.

“No...” But the next needle is sliding under Gerard’s skin, and it takes so much of him to keep his mind together in the horror and disgust, there’s nothing left to make a sound.

The rest of the scene is blurred into sickness and sharp tugs and the hideous feeling of movement beneath his skin. Gerard’s tears wet his temples. He comes to himself when he feels the person hold a tissue to his nose and instruct him to blow, and realizes that his nose is stuffy from crying.

He’s forgotten that it can ever be over, that anyone has the power to make it stop, so when there’s a fresh, cool sting wiped down his chest, he opens his eyes to see the blue eyes smiling above him. The person applies gauze to his chest, tapes it in place, then unbuckles the straps and helps Gerard to his feet.

Gerard sways. He can’t think of what to do. The person hugs him gently, and Gerard hugs back. “Are you gonna be okay?” he’s asked. He nods his head. That’s right, isn’t it? Yes. He holds on to the edge of the table. When his head clears enough that he can lift it up and look around, he doesn’t see the person, or anyone else that he knows. The needles are gone. He shudders.

Air. He needs air. He wanders past the couples sweating in their semi-privacy, toward the bar-- he sees the person there and changes direction, bearing toward the door and outside, where the club opens onto the world and he can get away far enough to sit in a safe place.

It’s some time later, maybe an hour, maybe more, when he hears “Oh thank Christ, Gerard, what the fuck?” Ray’s voice is higher than usual with worry. “Where the fuck were you? I looked everywhere. I made them stop the music and page you, you asshole.”

Gerard can’t bear up under his disapproval. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles. He hunches down over his knees.

Ray’s voice changes. “Gee? Are you okay?”

Gerard shakes his head. Ray sits down beside him. “What's wrong?”

There are no words. Gerard starts to cry and leans into Ray’s chest. Ray wraps his arms around him and holds him tight as Gerard stutters out what happened.

“Who?” Ray’s voice is deadly. Gerard just shakes his head again. He never got a name.

“Can you point him out?” Ray asks.

“I don’t want to. I just want to go home. Can we go home now?”

“Not until I find that guy and beat his ass,” says Ray. “And get him banned for forever. From everywhere.”

“It’s not like I safeworded,” Gerard says, shivering in Ray’s embrace.

“That doesn’t fucking matter. Did he even ask what your safeword _was_?” When Gerard shrugs, Ray’s arms tighten around him. “I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

“I want to go,” Gerard says, his arms tight around his legs, curling in on himself. “Can we please just go?”

Ray looks like he wants to say a million more things, but he visibly stops himself. “Can you stand up?” he asks, his hands gentle on Gerard’s back. Gerard nods, and Ray helps him up and guides him to the car, straps the seat belt around him and locks the door before coming around to the driver’s side.

The drive home is silent. Gerard feels sick to his stomach, keeps touching his chest to be sure the needles are gone. He can feel where they were, not the pain but the feeling of his body being invaded. It’s nothing like sexy. He can’t imagine anyone calling it sexy.

When they get inside the house, all hell breaks loose. Mom starts swearing up a storm and demands to know where they went. “They have a predator, a fucking predator in that club, and I’m gonna see that he goes to fucking jail, you hear me?”

“I don’t know if it was a he,” Gerard says almost to himself. “I didn’t ask for pronouns.”

“And he didn’t ask for a safeword, so who gives a shit about pronouns?” Frank spits.

“Not helping,” says Ray warningly. He puts a hand on Gerard’s knee, and Gerard leans next to him.

“Why didn’t you?” Frank turns his head to fix Gerard with a glare.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you safeword? I mean, you could've said ‘ice cream’ or ‘banjo’ or whatever, he’d have to know something was wrong, even if he didn’t know what your safeword was.”

Gerard shrugs, helpless in the face of logic. “I don’t know.”

“It’s what you’re supposed to do,” says Mikey.

“I know. I don’t know.” On top of everything else, Gerard feels stupid, like he failed basic human sexuality. “I just didn’t.” There were needles inside him. He wants to take off his skin and shower.

Dad’s voice comes down from on high. “I think everyone needs to calm down right now. Donna, sit down and quit yelling. You’re making him feel worse.”

Everyone looks guilty, and Gerard feels a quiet gratitude towards Dad, which is abruptly erased when Dad picks up the phone. “Wait, no, I don’t want to--”

Dad lifts a finger. Gerard shuts up. “I want to speak to the manager,” Dad says. “Right now.”

Ray puts an arm around Gerard and pulls him in tight. Frank sits close on his other side, and Mikey curls up at his feet.

"I don't know," says Gerard again.

"It's okay," says Ray.

"I was stupid."

"You were not." Frank is fierce.

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

"Yeah," says Mikey. He lays his head in Gerard's lap. "Totally."


End file.
